I learned of the death of college student Carly Henley two days after her passing, on October 6, 2010. In the days soon to follow it became clear that scores and scores of people were wounded to the core by the loss. Wonderful evidence around the internet serves to almost suspend Carly Henley's personable allure, her impressive musical talent, and a short life the likes of which most anybody could envy.

Various reports tell of her short term struggle with depression of perhaps three months in duration. Significant in that was the introduction of anti-depressant drug Zoloft via prescription some two weeks before Carly took her own life.

Not lost on me now, finally, is the wording in the "Black Box Warning" with Zoloft, which states that antidepressants may increase the risk of suicidal thinking and behavior in persons younger than 25. Risk is especially heightened during the first two months of taking anti-depressants.

The labels on anti-depressant drugs in the U.S. were altered to reference young adults aged 18 to 24 just three years earlier - in 2007.

It is my belief, now, that Carly just happened to land among the small percentage of anti-depressant users who are susceptible to being so affected by a powerful drug such as Zoloft.

One need not ever have known such a remarkable woman to feel the pain all around at the loss of Carly Henley.


So many life lessons are so well represented by Carly Henley's compelling spirit. Let me see if I can help some to gain fuller appreciation for a woman who continues to inspire everyone who ever knew of her.



Carly Henley was someone's daughter, someone's sister

I should begin by emphasizing that I cannot and do not find fault with anybody who was fortunate enough to spend time around Carly Henley.  In fact I've been thinking that in the same way I might go to a store and purchase a box of saltine crackers without needing to fear for my life, Carly Henley's mother should have the same luxury when perhaps conferring with her adult daughter about new efforts to combat significant new adversity in the daughter's life.

Yet I can't sit here and go off on a tirade against drug companies or rail on about the process through which various drugs are approved for public use and generally monitored in the United States.  A chief reason why Americans are living longer than ever and the death rate keeps going down are various drugs which have helped to prolong human life and enhance the quality of that life.

There's just... a process out there... and the scientists who develop the life-saving medicines, some of which we have taken for granted for our entire lifetimes, are all striving forward with our best interests in mind.

It just hurts especially bad when someone who continues to impact others deeply, as Carly Henley does, is one of the people who make the ultimate sacrifice perhaps as a result of one of those medicines.  In a way I can be happy for others who may never have heard of Carly Henley, and who, via the links and photos to come in this blog, might take the time to listen to Carly's music and imagine some of the warmth and satisfaction she probably knew over the last few years.

Might as well warn you now that it is going to be impossible to miss Carly's considerable physical beauty, and that beauty is certainly going to seem enough to inspire some to keep sifting through Carly's online presence.

A couple of elements about Carly seem to put her generous external appeal in perspective:

*  The woman's musical talent and stage presence rate enough attention so as to draw your mind away from her physical beauty

*  Few if any of the pictures and videos you might find online would even inspire an impure thought despite how amazing she always looks

I can't even figure out how Carly Henley always comes across as having been so earthy and approachable despite having been blessed with so much during her 20 short years.  I'm guessing that it was just one of her traits, and one that brought far more people into her circles than most would have ever enjoyed during two decades.  (there were thousands of people on hand at a candlelight vigil for her just two days after her passing)

If by chance somebody had been caused to do a report on Carly Henley's life to date as of her 20th birthday (July 30, 2010) it would have literally been the stuff that dreams are made of.  Carly's own boldness and successes in challenging herself had her on stage and performing her music in front of her entire high school, and no doubt whatever she gained from that was parlayed into later performances at various venues including the Hard Rock Cafe.

There were "photo shoots" and wonderful friendships along with sorority life once she became a college student.  One of the more gripping aspects of Carly Henley's story is that her online persona has been effectively suspended right at the point from which her potential for the future was greatest.

That peak potential probably serves to aggravate the loss felt by her family a great deal.  It must be so difficult to make emotional allowances for the fact that, of the dozens of doors seemingly open to her as of last summer, a different path would still have led through just one or two of said doors (over 15 or 75 years), no matter how many had been open.

Envisioning the future is akin to thriving on the vast realm of possibility for a while only to evolve to a point at which 360 degrees of opportunities are narrowed to one or two life choices (career, romantic mate) which comprise a single path.  Indeed once you reach that single path then your focus, and that of people around you, changes to invest just about all of yourself in the one, singular direction.

Here is a local news story on Carly's death aired the day after it happened:

http://www.king5.com/news/local/Womans-death-at-UW-fraternity-investigated-104469164.html

and another story aired on the night of her vigil on her university's campus:

http://www.king5.com/news/local/Hundreds-expected-at-candlelight-vigil-for-UW-student-Carly-Henley-104599889.html


In closing, here is Carly Henley's obituary:

Carly Danielle HENLEY
Carly Danielle Henley, 20 years old, of Seattle, passed on Wednesday, October 6, 2010. Born on July 30, 1990 in Long Beach, California to Dede Henley Norris and Dr. David Henley. A loving sister to sister, Blake Henley, and brothers, Bryce Henley, Spencer Norris, Christopher Norris and Jeremy Hunley. Cherished by extended family Steven Norris, grandmothers, Charlotte Dolezal and Mim Henley, adored by her uncles, Doug Dolezal, David Dolezal, Mike (Theresa) Henley and Mark Henley, aunts Denise (Tim) Wilcox, Kathleen Milne and many cousins. She attended Highline High School and was a junior at the University of Washington and a member of the Delta Gamma Sorority. She had a passion for music and was an accomplished singer songwriter who performed her original songs and garnered legions of admirers locally and via YouTube and the Internet. Carly’s beautiful smile, loving, kind nature, filled the hearts of all who came in contact with her. She was constantly seeking new experiences and ideas, a friend to many, ever giving of herself unselfishly. She loved the rain. She loved her family. She loved God. A Celebration of her life will be held on Sunday, October 10 at 3:00 pm in The City Church, University District Campus located at 4740 17th Ave NE in Seattle. Remembrances may be made in Carly’s name to The Hunger Project at www.thp.org.


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1 comment:

  1. UnknownJanuary 16, 2020 at 7:53 PM

    Loved this,my fiance went to Highline Highschool with Carly, homecoming and her final homecoming service. This effected me deeply even though I never met her.look at me years later and me looking her up. My prayers are for whomever is hurt and looking for answers that Jesus will show them another way. God Bless us All

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