Just what is your newfound familiarity with Carly Henley's life, and her death, going to do for somebody whose own challenges have become overwhelming and with wounds even deeper than ever before??
First of all, there is no denying that there is a considerable risk here, and that relates to how difficult it would be for most anybody to avoid thinking: "wow, if someone who had so very much life all around her and so much living to do, as Carly Henley did, still couldn't see any other option, then how can I have much hope with these many significant problems amid this much despair?"
One need not be having thoughts of suicide to envy most of the things about Carly Henley's world and her daily life, so the above consideration is very real.
Yet I think what others are supposed to observe is that "If even the likes of Carly Henley, with so very much going for her in a life most would do anything to know for a month or a year, saw fit to take her own life, then hers must've been an inappropriate conclusion (perhaps arrived at in large part, as a direct result of the heavy hand of Zoloft)".
Someone Carly knew offered the perception that Carly may have convinced herself that she would be most valuable to her friends and family if watching over them from above and protecting them in their every mortal move. Of course Zoloft doesn't just stop and say: "hey, y'know, you should go...", so there had to be some reasonable thought process of the sort perfectly attainable to Carly's mind in a Zoloft-altered state.
Everyone tells of how very much Carly Henley genuinely cared about other people and the many online photos of her assure a rare sincerity that way for a girl who had so very much. So it really does seem within the realm of possibility that she could have convinced herself that she was needed elsewhere... by so many.
What about the person sitting here, reading this, and perhaps tryyyyyyyyyyyyyying desperately to find in Carly Henley's existence the reasons to keep on living and the path away from despair?
It can't be simple enough to where merely figuring out that Carly made the wrong choice, with or without Zoloft, should be expected to have any significant impact. The first thing everybody says about a suicide victim is that "he/she had everything going for him/her", and what IS fairly simple is to reason that Carly Henley really DID have everything going for her. Hopefully somebody who is presently contemplating suicide, even from the depths of despair, can see with some clarity that Carly simply made a poor choice.
That at least opens the possibility that others making the same choice didn't exactly consider the big picture before altering their future in a way from which there is no turning back.
Those sincere enough in their searching for answers need to know that the biggest and best step they could take immediately is to unburden themselves in front of a listening ear. It doesn't often matter which listening ear you choose, and sometimes it doesn't matter so much that they're even listening. For it is the exercise of projecting ones frustrations and painful thoughts outward which always serves to reduce the heavy toll those thoughts can take.
Who can tally the number of people in Carly's vicinity who would have been completely honored to understand that this vibrant gem of a person sincerely needed somebody to talk to... to whom she could unburden herself. I wouldn't want to begin to attempt to count how many would have happily and eagerly dropped everything to challenge Carly to let it all out.
To outsiders like me, Carly's surroundings seemed as near to being 'ideal' as I'd ever want to imagine them being. All it takes is ONE such "listener", and the person in need gains immeasurably from the exercise that is letting it all out. The fact that Carly was unwilling to avail herself of such a person - when few would dispute that there were hundreds of would-be willing listeners around her every day - should somehow inspire readers who are deeply troubled to figure out that all Carly needed to do was reach out.
Too many people are just unwilling to accept and take-on the immediate bruise to their ego which would identify them as being "vulnerable" in such a situation. It is the mere exercise of being vulnerable that brings lots of the great people in society to your side, and then affords you the priceless opportunity to release some of the despair.
Who out there wouldn't envision that Carly Henley had been destined for a wonderful future filled with love and beauty and the many other elements she kept giving TO her surroundings, needing only to stand there and wait for those elements to come back around?
Maybe Carly's support system would have been better equipped to solve her immediate concerns than your support system is equipped to solve the major concerns you're facing. Realize that it isn't the depths of your present situation that determine your chances of improving your outlook and eventually thriving. It is more likely the angle at which you descended to the present level of sadness that pains you the most right now.
Indeed there is always someone out there who seems to have it worse than you do, and yet some such people are among the happiest on earth. Just about everybody can win the battle of "mind over matter" where it concerns finding the strength to know that they want to go on living (rather than the alternative) and then bravely expressing to a trusted friend or associate, or even to a suicide hotline staffer.
The reason the suicide hotline is there, is because the simple-seeming exercise that is expressing outwardly, no matter what painful experiences or deeds are on your mind, is the giant initial step toward solving just about any inspiration for suicide. Sometimes it just doesn't matter which volunteer is on the other end of that line. They are trained to inspire you to be brave enough to let them draw-out your thoughts and feelings, and then help you to diagram a more active solution to any challenge you could be facing.
I'm trying to be realistic in figuring out how Carly Henley's image and online presence are supposed to inspire you to keep from ending your life. It certainly isn't going to be that her life situation was any more dire than yours is. It probably isn't going to be that Zoloft or other anti-depressants are the root cause of your current frame of mind (you probably wouldn't be able to fully understand as much, if it were the case).
I do know one thing... and that is that you noticed Carly Henley's exceptional beauty... and were then caused to look a bit more deeply into her life and surroundings... to identify the obvious presence of scores and scores of people who would have done just about anything for her, and even more if only they'd known how low she was feeling. From those elements you were supposed to figure out that with sooooooooooo very much going for her, Carly sure seemed to have made what was plainly a wrong choice on October 6, 2010.
From there, perhaps you can at least bring further scrutiny onto the possibility that to mirror Carly's choice would be wrong for you as well.
If this describes you... it would be so great if you would just pick up the phone and dial a suicide hotline in your area. You won't know them. They won't know you. You'll be anonymous and 'safe' in all ways as you afford yourself a thorough critique of the choice you're about to make and the factors behind it.
Maybe Carly Henley's exceptional beauty and her earthy ways captured your attention for a reason. As I've discovered during the past 6 months, she had a story to tell... it seems to be filled with loving family, amazing friends, and an earthy persona the likes of which served to keep a girl with enviable beauty grounded enough so as to inspire the deepest admiration from all who knew her.
You've got a story to tell as well, and somebody out there needs to hear it. It really is OK to take bolder chances at this point... with family members, former friends, a police officer, or the suicide hotline staffers. This really matters, and so do you. For all of Carly Henley's beauty and storybook surroundings, you still have something that Carly doesn't have... a simple CHOICE.
I'd bet anything that Carly's mother would be very touched to know that the beautiful image of her late daughter was some small factor in your finding the strength to learn what the future has in store for you.
Carly Henley was someone I'd never even heard of before she took her own life at the age of 20 while a talented, popular and attractive junior at university. She seemed the person nobody would ever guess for such a fate. The media doesn't generally cover suicide but Carly Henley could inspire so much caring and understanding and it has to start somewhere... I attempt to present this blog without hurting or offending Carly Henley's family or anyone else but suicide is a delicate subject.
I learned of the death of college student Carly Henley two days after her passing, on October 6, 2010. In the days soon to follow it became clear that scores and scores of people were wounded to the core by the loss. Wonderful evidence around the internet serves to almost suspend Carly Henley's personable allure, her impressive musical talent, and a short life the likes of which most anybody could envy.
Various reports tell of her short term struggle with depression of perhaps three months in duration. Significant in that was the introduction of anti-depressant drug Zoloft via prescription some two weeks before Carly took her own life.
Not lost on me now, finally, is the wording in the "Black Box Warning" with Zoloft, which states that antidepressants may increase the risk of suicidal thinking and behavior in persons younger than 25. Risk is especially heightened during the first two months of taking anti-depressants.
The labels on anti-depressant drugs in the U.S. were altered to reference young adults aged 18 to 24 just three years earlier - in 2007.
It is my belief, now, that Carly just happened to land among the small percentage of anti-depressant users who are susceptible to being so affected by a powerful drug such as Zoloft.
One need not ever have known such a remarkable woman to feel the pain all around at the loss of Carly Henley.
So many life lessons are so well represented by Carly Henley's compelling spirit. Let me see if I can help some to gain fuller appreciation for a woman who continues to inspire everyone who ever knew of her.
Various reports tell of her short term struggle with depression of perhaps three months in duration. Significant in that was the introduction of anti-depressant drug Zoloft via prescription some two weeks before Carly took her own life.
Not lost on me now, finally, is the wording in the "Black Box Warning" with Zoloft, which states that antidepressants may increase the risk of suicidal thinking and behavior in persons younger than 25. Risk is especially heightened during the first two months of taking anti-depressants.
The labels on anti-depressant drugs in the U.S. were altered to reference young adults aged 18 to 24 just three years earlier - in 2007.
It is my belief, now, that Carly just happened to land among the small percentage of anti-depressant users who are susceptible to being so affected by a powerful drug such as Zoloft.
One need not ever have known such a remarkable woman to feel the pain all around at the loss of Carly Henley.
So many life lessons are so well represented by Carly Henley's compelling spirit. Let me see if I can help some to gain fuller appreciation for a woman who continues to inspire everyone who ever knew of her.
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