It seems from the outside that nearly all people lost to suicide give strong hints as to their being in the throes of despair. Every vibe I've ever gleaned about Carly Henley's environment assures that she was surrounded by a whole galaxy of people who were caring and willing to help in any way she could need them.
The Zoloft component is the only one which makes remote sense to an outsider. I'm sure that isn't quite enough to keep those especially near to Carly from feeling deep regret about their not having had a chance to help somebody so cherished by all who knew her.
It is so, so rare that somebody should be lost to suicide right when her potential for the future was at its zenith. Indeed Carly Henley could have thrived in just about any direction of her choosing, and while she was exploring multiple paths as of the point of her death, it seems she had committed to none.
I can't imagine the pain felt by anyone close to her and it must be magnified considerably by most having recognized so very much potential for the future in Carly Henley. Indeed she seems so very rare among suicide victims, but I can't step away far enough from Carly's story in order to gain as much understanding about others who have taken their own lives.
I think I want to give Carly credit for having somehow recognized that something was different in the summer of 2010, and for having told her family of feeling depressed. I wonder from afar just how much of a change that represents in a person as seen through the eyes of life-long friends.
I wonder, too, just how we should respond to such confiding by those we care about. Carly Henley was so very good at expressing herself and I'm sure that causes family members and close friends to keep torturing themselves with the belief that just the right words would have unlocked anything and everything that Carly was feeling in the summer and very early fall of 2010.
How in the world can we harness any shared understanding about the seeming randomness which led, step by step, to Carly Henley's suicide of October 6, 2010? How do we learn from the story as we know it, to perhaps inspire even one person in our futures to land on a different path?
There just didn't seem to be any blinking red light that was supposed to indicate to anybody in her circles that Carly's mind was even capable of such a strong reaction. Perhaps it was data of note for future understanding that Carly has just recently resumed campus life at her university, but I still can't trace that to her ending fate.
With the present economy being what it is, there is increased mention of suicide and considered suicide all around us, but others have so much more to them in the way of causes and effect. How are we supposed to gain understanding when overlaying Carly Henley's death onto the suicide or attempt at same by others? Typically others driven to that extreme have recently lost a love, lost a job, lost a home, and/or lost their freedom. In many of those cases we don't do enough to really understand... instead believing that we 'get it', because of the despair we too would know were WE the one in such a situation.
Most if not all of us just don't know what sort of an outlook on the world Carly knew in her final weeks. We can't even know whether she herself would allow that she was fine a few days prior to her death when singing and dancing at a concert with family.
I still feel very sad and compassionate toward everyone who knew Carly Henley and toward anyone who afforded themselves the joy of having somehow invested themselves IN Carly. Most who tend to do the latter get to know great joy as the future unfolds brightly for those in whom they invest. The only way that those investments can be so rewarding is when your personal investment IN another is considerable enough so that it would leave you hurting deeply should they be suddenly taken from your world.
It hurts so much because you're doing it correctly...
Last week I got in the car one evening, plugged my Carly Henley CD into the CD player, and drove toward the area where Carly went to high school, and where she worked during the summer of 2010. Carly worked at a place called "909 Coffee & Wine" in the central business district of a Seattle suburb.
After circling the area in search of a parking spot in order to walk up for a closer look, I stopped, reached to turn the car off, and glanced at the clock on the dash:
It was 9:09. I wonder what that meant.
.
.
Carly Henley was someone I'd never even heard of before she took her own life at the age of 20 while a talented, popular and attractive junior at university. She seemed the person nobody would ever guess for such a fate. The media doesn't generally cover suicide but Carly Henley could inspire so much caring and understanding and it has to start somewhere... I attempt to present this blog without hurting or offending Carly Henley's family or anyone else but suicide is a delicate subject.
I learned of the death of college student Carly Henley two days after her passing, on October 6, 2010. In the days soon to follow it became clear that scores and scores of people were wounded to the core by the loss. Wonderful evidence around the internet serves to almost suspend Carly Henley's personable allure, her impressive musical talent, and a short life the likes of which most anybody could envy.
Various reports tell of her short term struggle with depression of perhaps three months in duration. Significant in that was the introduction of anti-depressant drug Zoloft via prescription some two weeks before Carly took her own life.
Not lost on me now, finally, is the wording in the "Black Box Warning" with Zoloft, which states that antidepressants may increase the risk of suicidal thinking and behavior in persons younger than 25. Risk is especially heightened during the first two months of taking anti-depressants.
The labels on anti-depressant drugs in the U.S. were altered to reference young adults aged 18 to 24 just three years earlier - in 2007.
It is my belief, now, that Carly just happened to land among the small percentage of anti-depressant users who are susceptible to being so affected by a powerful drug such as Zoloft.
One need not ever have known such a remarkable woman to feel the pain all around at the loss of Carly Henley.
So many life lessons are so well represented by Carly Henley's compelling spirit. Let me see if I can help some to gain fuller appreciation for a woman who continues to inspire everyone who ever knew of her.
Various reports tell of her short term struggle with depression of perhaps three months in duration. Significant in that was the introduction of anti-depressant drug Zoloft via prescription some two weeks before Carly took her own life.
Not lost on me now, finally, is the wording in the "Black Box Warning" with Zoloft, which states that antidepressants may increase the risk of suicidal thinking and behavior in persons younger than 25. Risk is especially heightened during the first two months of taking anti-depressants.
The labels on anti-depressant drugs in the U.S. were altered to reference young adults aged 18 to 24 just three years earlier - in 2007.
It is my belief, now, that Carly just happened to land among the small percentage of anti-depressant users who are susceptible to being so affected by a powerful drug such as Zoloft.
One need not ever have known such a remarkable woman to feel the pain all around at the loss of Carly Henley.
So many life lessons are so well represented by Carly Henley's compelling spirit. Let me see if I can help some to gain fuller appreciation for a woman who continues to inspire everyone who ever knew of her.
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