I learned of the death of college student Carly Henley two days after her passing, on October 6, 2010. In the days soon to follow it became clear that scores and scores of people were wounded to the core by the loss. Wonderful evidence around the internet serves to almost suspend Carly Henley's personable allure, her impressive musical talent, and a short life the likes of which most anybody could envy.

Various reports tell of her short term struggle with depression of perhaps three months in duration. Significant in that was the introduction of anti-depressant drug Zoloft via prescription some two weeks before Carly took her own life.

Not lost on me now, finally, is the wording in the "Black Box Warning" with Zoloft, which states that antidepressants may increase the risk of suicidal thinking and behavior in persons younger than 25. Risk is especially heightened during the first two months of taking anti-depressants.

The labels on anti-depressant drugs in the U.S. were altered to reference young adults aged 18 to 24 just three years earlier - in 2007.

It is my belief, now, that Carly just happened to land among the small percentage of anti-depressant users who are susceptible to being so affected by a powerful drug such as Zoloft.

One need not ever have known such a remarkable woman to feel the pain all around at the loss of Carly Henley.


So many life lessons are so well represented by Carly Henley's compelling spirit. Let me see if I can help some to gain fuller appreciation for a woman who continues to inspire everyone who ever knew of her.



Y'know, it really wasn't Carly's physical beauty that made her so special


Of course nobody can help but notice physical beauty in Carly Henley that was nothing short of spectacular.  Yet had there been little more to her then the loss of such a gem wouldn't have impacted such a vast audience for such a long while.

We as humans just have a learned standard for how much "more" we can expect to get from those with exceptional physical appearances well above the 90th percentile and I contend that it is because Carly Henley comfortably offered so much in addition to her beauty that she was so adored.

Consider how there is no real standard known to the general public for how far apart somebody's eyes are, yet somehow we just think we know by looking whether a set of eyes sit too near or too far from one another.  The way we arrive at that sense is from just seeing thousands and thousands of eyes coming around corners and passing close-by through our worlds.  In the same way, we keep seeing other humans running the full gamut of the physical attractiveness scale continuously parading through our lives.  Generally speaking those who are the most attractive need to do the least to draw the attention of others, and quite often life follows those general guidelines.  Sometimes the striking individuals find ways to downplay their appeal so as to reduce the inevitable uncomfortable attention while those on the other end of the spectrum develop considerable talents to woo whatever amount of attention and validation from others they can get.

In the same way our instincts pause for a moment when recognizing eyes that are set more near to one another than almost all others, we are also caused to notice when a beautiful woman like Carly Henley becomes so effective at expressing herself outwardly.  This is a woman who simply didn't have to do that, and who could have sailed a long way just on her looks alone.  Instead she blessed the world with twenty years of somebody whose feet always seemed firmly planted on earth.  She shared the persona of a regular girl for most of that time and perhaps honed her musical ability at a time before her physical beauty commanded the complete awe it did when she left this earth.

When I look back at the dark-haired Carly in pictures and video I see just the same beauty that she was known for in more recent times.  To know that the genetics had long been in place, and that she wasn't somebody fully obsessed with presenting her looks to the world just causes her appeal to be more obvious with each viewing of the Veteran's Day assembly video on YouTube.

Just how often do you get to know of a woman that stunning, and perhaps in the prime of her life, simultaneously being willing to express herself outwardly through her music?  Indeed you can dwell on Carly Henley's beauty for a while during and after time spent looking at that photo above, but the lingering effect of her appeal lies in her self-expression.  She gave that to the world, and thankfully, by some stroke of pure fate, it has been considerably represented online where it can be preserved to reinvigorate and impact people fortunate enough to have known her as well as those of us who never did.

From what I've read online about Carly her reputation never took a bad step and I've yet to find any part of Carly and her life to which young women should not aspire.

There is no way to justify Carly's early departure from this world to her family and close friends but I hope most of them will evolve to appreciate just how much she lived during her 20 years and how many internal rewards she knew just for carrying herself in such humble fashion.

I can't help wondering simultaneously whether there may well have been some small amount of "relief" for Carly Henley in no longer having to be confronted each day by the pressures put upon the exceptionally attractive among us by society as a whole.

Far too much time during an average lifespan is spent imagining how far we could go were we the ones blessed by such beauty.  With that comes an instinct which wants to verify our expectation that the exceptionally attractive individuals will ascend to the social heights.  How much of the hurt over Carly's loss comes from our not having known the chance to watch and see how high and how far she could have gone?

Carly's many websites are filled lately with comments making reference to her physical beauty and people are so accustomed to reciting the obvious that way that I can't help but wonder if their thoughts worded that way mean something much different.  I think just about everybody who thinks about Carly and her passing yearns as much for understanding of how much her beauty could have meant to the future as they do for understanding relating to Carly's reported depression.

The death of Carly Henley still makes me feel very sad more than 2 1/2 months since she left the world.
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