I learned of the death of college student Carly Henley two days after her passing, on October 6, 2010. In the days soon to follow it became clear that scores and scores of people were wounded to the core by the loss. Wonderful evidence around the internet serves to almost suspend Carly Henley's personable allure, her impressive musical talent, and a short life the likes of which most anybody could envy.

Various reports tell of her short term struggle with depression of perhaps three months in duration. Significant in that was the introduction of anti-depressant drug Zoloft via prescription some two weeks before Carly took her own life.

Not lost on me now, finally, is the wording in the "Black Box Warning" with Zoloft, which states that antidepressants may increase the risk of suicidal thinking and behavior in persons younger than 25. Risk is especially heightened during the first two months of taking anti-depressants.

The labels on anti-depressant drugs in the U.S. were altered to reference young adults aged 18 to 24 just three years earlier - in 2007.

It is my belief, now, that Carly just happened to land among the small percentage of anti-depressant users who are susceptible to being so affected by a powerful drug such as Zoloft.

One need not ever have known such a remarkable woman to feel the pain all around at the loss of Carly Henley.


So many life lessons are so well represented by Carly Henley's compelling spirit. Let me see if I can help some to gain fuller appreciation for a woman who continues to inspire everyone who ever knew of her.



Marking 21 years since Carly's birth (July 30, 1990)

There can't be a single person reading this who wonders where Carly is at this moment. No doubt Carly Henley was fast-tracked to the pearly gates and effectively rubber-stamped for admission. Some, like her, are given access to a conveyor belt which serves as the fast lane and affords them a grand view of the majesty of said pearly gates. Bypassed below are the arbitration chambers, the long line-ups for reckoning and the reconciliation holding areas.

Once the glorious view of the gates is fully inhaled, those on the fast track are puzzled upon the view up ahead of what appears to be a shopping mall, just like so many of those seen on Earth. Although confused by this, everyone from all lines seems to be headed right for the nearest mall entrance. There is no parking lot surrounding this mall - as nobody drives to Heaven (though Dale Earnhardt once tried). The mall looks surprisingly like so many others, yet with no shoplifting, no drug deals, and without any bus stops out front. Mall shootings are unheard of here.

The stores at this mall contain just about anything one could ever imagine. These things are intended and suitable for spending the afterlife doing whatever it is that now-spirits once dreamed of doing. To some surprise these stores are fully staffed with people entirely happy and willing to show you all of their products. There is no cost for desired items, and for their not working on commission, the staff are more content than is the norm on Earth.

For a time most just move aimlessly through the long hall at Heaven's mall, mostly for not knowing what they want. There is a odd-seeming vibe in the air at this mall. Some recognize it distinctly and others never do...

Those on earth ponder why anybody would want to spend all eternity working at the mall, but for lots and lots of people the mall represents their familiarity. When afforded the opportunity to do anything, people don't know what to choose, so they fall back onto what they know. They make choices reflecting the routines they knew on Earth, and thus some find themselves working happily at the mall.

Heaven's mall has lots of make-up counters, and they are among the most popular spots there. It seems far too many (females especially) are eager to indulge themselves in trying to wear the appearances they always thought they wanted while on Earth. This presents a bit of a problem. As all who approach are merely spirits, they are required to create some semblance of an appearance from scratch in order for the resident make-up artists to know a starting point from which to offer suggestions and guidance.

Anything short of conjuring up an appearance of one's own is akin to not giving the Sandwich Artist at Subway that first, precious idea as to what kind of sandwich you desire (before you field all those condiment questions to which the answers don't mean much one way or another).

So what do Heaven-goers do? They trend considerably toward creating from scratch that very same appearance they saw in their earthly mirrors during their whole lives. This despite their having had free reign to create any appearance they ever thought they wanted.

Even the likes of Carly Henley was in time drawn to one of these make-up counters in Heaven's mall. She enjoyed the freedom to create from scratch the physicality which would surround her spirit in Heaven, yet she had never felt such opportunity before and didn't quite know how to proceed. Carly thought all this time that she knew what she'd change about herself yet she couldn't really accept that such an opportunity was finally hers. Additionally, she was feeling pressured given the chance that her ideas wouldn't be improvements after all. Beyond that she didn't know who would be able to tell, or who would care...

With pressure building inside of her (and only inside - there are no insensitive workers at Heaven's mall), Carly was considerably uneasy. She was unsure about pushing the buttons which would, for the time being, seem to commit her to a new appearance entirely of her own creation. She hadn't known on earth what it would be like to be short, brunette and curvy and as such she was reminded that she couldn't even pretend to be making these decisions with full knowledge of the many possibilities.

Carly began to make her choices, first making the easier ones and, for never having encountered a button that said "
go back", she evolved to keep selections very near to what she'd always known during her time on Earth. It seems that familiarity is a very big part of who we are, and Carly Henley was gaining eye-opening understanding as to something she hadn't figured out before.

To most make-up artists, the Carly Henley who was on Earth for 20 years represents a home run pitch from Dennis Eckersley floating right down the middle toward Kirk Gibson. For that reason Carly was processed swiftly upon completion of her new and self-created appearance choices.


Never had Carly been so glad to leave a store in the mall. There she was, a head-turner once again, but looking unmistakably Carly Henley-like. The long hall of the mall appeared endless. Nearby shop windows showcased fishing poles, bowling shirts, accounting office furniture, and even Oprah Winfrey's couch.

For having been suddenly jolted by her re-creation of her own wonderful prior form, Carly heightened her anticipation that one of these shop windows would soon reveal a guitar. A guitar would feel so comfortable right now - something to calm her after the self-applied, appearance-related pressures she'd known moments earlier (if not always). Carly continued with the flow of traffic as the masses seemed destined and eager for whatever lie beyond. Each passing doorway would draw interest from others seeking to arm themselves for the expected contentment up ahead.

Soon there were stickers in a window, and it was with anticipation that Carly stopped at this store wishing to re-create what had been familiar to her on earth. It isn't easy to chance upon "Love Wins" in single-sticker format and knowing this caused Carly to cover all the bases sticker-wise in case she was unsuccessful that way.

Carly's pleasing manner charmed store staff as it always had and soon she was on her way again, this time more sure of herself than had been the case at the make-up counter or during many of her days on Earth. At another store Carly scooped up writing equipment and tablets of paper in preparation for future songwriting.

Heaven's shopping mall isn't laid out like most. Instead it is a single, wide hall that extends forever, lined with shops on both sides, as expected. It was a long, steady progression down the mall until Carly finally spied guitars in a store window.

She stopped excitedly before making a beeline to the doorway through which she eyed a vast selection of guitars. Not limited this time by what she could afford, Carly contemplated guitars of the sorts she'd only read about and seen in stores and on TV. Here again Carly was startled by the strong pull of familiarity on a presence which no longer knew the limitations which once guided her. She evolved to select something simple and of the sort which wouldn't get noticed moreso than she anticipated being noticed herself. Stickers and guitar in hand, Carly resumed flowing with the masses toward whatever destiny lie ahead.

Heaven's mall doesn't have a food court (that's the one spot at which far too few want to work for all eternity) and nobody is ever really hungry in heaven either (though some will themselves a good Philly Cheesesteak sandwich). Time and distance seemed infinite during her progression through the mall, and as Carly had newly arrived many decades before she could expect her friends, she really had all she could think of.

Eventually she chanced upon the doorway under a sign which read:
"Shortcut through the rest of the mall - for those who have everything they really want for all eternity". Carly Henley had her guitar, her "Love Still Wins" sticker combination, her familiar good looks, and no idea what the future held. She walked through that doorway with a strange new confidence about herself while feeling no pressures relating to things she was anticipating up ahead, largely for not even knowing what to expect.

Somewhere high above, on July 30, 2011 Earth time, Carly Henley celebrates 21 years since her birth while making music with new friends. She is perfecting her guitar craft with the help of some very gifted musicians who previously arrived, one by one, over the course of history. Carly has evolved to confidently trade suggestions and ideas in ways that she may not have been bold enough to share on Earth.

Each day when it's her turn to gaze into the viewfinder of one of Heaven's periscopes, Carly checks in on all of her friends and family back home, wishing she could tell them all about the big-name musicians she has befriended. Carly marvels most then at the vast sea of humanity which has come forward on Earth for having been so touched by her twenty years of life. The number of people who obviously care overwhelms Carly still... as does the newer clarity to that and to other perceptions of the sorts gleaned only in hindsight...




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