I learned of the death of college student Carly Henley two days after her passing, on October 6, 2010. In the days soon to follow it became clear that scores and scores of people were wounded to the core by the loss. Wonderful evidence around the internet serves to almost suspend Carly Henley's personable allure, her impressive musical talent, and a short life the likes of which most anybody could envy.

Various reports tell of her short term struggle with depression of perhaps three months in duration. Significant in that was the introduction of anti-depressant drug Zoloft via prescription some two weeks before Carly took her own life.

Not lost on me now, finally, is the wording in the "Black Box Warning" with Zoloft, which states that antidepressants may increase the risk of suicidal thinking and behavior in persons younger than 25. Risk is especially heightened during the first two months of taking anti-depressants.

The labels on anti-depressant drugs in the U.S. were altered to reference young adults aged 18 to 24 just three years earlier - in 2007.

It is my belief, now, that Carly just happened to land among the small percentage of anti-depressant users who are susceptible to being so affected by a powerful drug such as Zoloft.

One need not ever have known such a remarkable woman to feel the pain all around at the loss of Carly Henley.


So many life lessons are so well represented by Carly Henley's compelling spirit. Let me see if I can help some to gain fuller appreciation for a woman who continues to inspire everyone who ever knew of her.



October 6, 2014 - Marking Four Years since Carly Henley ended her life.

Just recently, and for the first time, this author chanced upon a blog entry written early on the day following Carly Henley's death.  It echoed the thoughts of so many:

A girl writes:

"I just wish it was all a dream.

I woke up this morning (to) a phone call from one of my bests... asking how I was feeling.  That’s when I knew yesterday wasn’t a dream at all. 2 college students were found dead. One, a missing boy from my school, Dwight Clark in Bellingham Bay and later that night, I found out that another death occurred at the University of Washington. A girl that was 2 years older and went to my high school. Carly Henley. The most beautiful human being I have had an honor to be in the presence of. She was smart, gorgeous, talented and was so friendly to everyone. The news shook the little town of Burien to its roots, and no one can believe such a crime has been committed. Police officials are believing that it was suicide. But suicide? I refuse (to) believe it. Carly wouldn’t have done such a thing. She had so much going for her, and she knew it too. From what I saw, she loved her life and she wouldn’t do anything like this. I refuse to believe that that is what had happened. My heart goes out to Blake, her sister and her family. Something like this is not easy to handle especially since it was such a shock. From the words of my best friend..., “God needed an angel, and that’s why he took you away.” RIP Carly Henley.

October 7 at 10:58 AM "


That was the widely popular reaction as of October 7, 2010, and there was enough uncertainty that the story was prominent on the website of the Seattle Times on October 8.  An early morning perusal of said website was this writer's first-ever awareness of Carly Henley, and impulse caused me to go so far as to print Carly's photo from the story there.  (upon conclusion of suicide as the cause of death the local paper made the story disappear in keeping with policy of not reporting suicides so as not to encourage copycat suicides)

The young person quoted above summed-up Carly Henley in much the same way as everybody does:  ""The most beautiful human being I have had an honor to be in the presence of.  She was smart, gorgeous, talented and was so friendly to everyone".  Impulsively this very same young person wrote: "Suicide?  I refuse (to) believe it.  Carly wouldn't have done such a thing.  She had so much going for her...".

Isn't that what we as a society ALWAYS say about suicide victims???   Admittedly it is usually  "... had everything going for him/her".  We don't say that about the person living two doors down.  We don't even say that about the smartest kid in class.  That common summation is saved almost exclusively for victims of suicide.

Over the past four years I've been unable to shake the feeling that "THIS suicide is somehow 'different'..." (except for the obvious, I mean).  For this is somebody about whom nearly all would agree that she added something to the lives of every single person she ever got to know.

The internet and modern technology do a grand job of somehow preserving many of Carly Henley's great traits and mannerisms along with her endearing humility.  This affords YouTube viewers and anybody who travels in circles nearby to Carly's world to gain their own, mostly independent sense OF Carly Henley, and I think the impact continues to be rather overwhelming.

It is so challenging to reason, logically, that this sweet and well-liked person just landed among the small percentage of people for whom anti-depressant drugs have a deadly impact.  Yet to do so affords at least a chance to ease one's mind.  Everybody everywhere wishes that the Carly Henley's of the world would/could STAY in the world, and I'm sure it still doesn't take a newly initiated YouTube viewer very long to be affected by all of Carly's appeal.

People whose worlds surrounded Carly Henley not that long ago are presently moving forward and thriving in ways which give cause to wonder to what heights Carly might have climbed by now. Imagine one person starring in a goofy YouTube clip as he mimicks/lip-synchs Carly's (off-screen) singing as the group of friends sat in a classroom, presumably in high school (??) AND NOW consider that same person is a/the "Social Media Coordinator" for the National Football League.   (OK, granted it wasn't going to be a position held by some old man who'd been doing the job since Vince Lombardi's most prominent role was something more than a trophy)

And look at the tweet at the top of his Twitter page:   https://twitter.com/brycegustafson

Also consider the evolution of the career of Carly's older cousin Tess Henley, who among many other things performed the National Anthem prior to the final regular season game of the Seattle Seahawks' Super Bowl Championship season in 2013/14.

It remains my hope that some will by chance run across Carly Henley's story and will be reminded that they simply WANT to be around people like Carly.  Maybe... hopefully... those people will become just a little more aware, and concerned, about what lingers beneath the surface in people all around their daily routine.  It's just never going to be the person you expect...

 No doubt October 6 is quite somber and challenging for a lot of people who knew Carly personally, but hopefully the progress made over four years by family and friends near to Carly will cause others to believe more confidently in their own futures.  October 6 is indeed a date on which to remind yourself just how precious life and those who surround you really are.

Posted by

No comments:

Post a Comment

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)